Now what?

“I fucked his wife.”

You may have experienced that firsthand or imagined the day when you could utter those fateful words.  It was a hot night.  Fingers caressing, mouths wandering.  Bits and pieces of the evening return to you in the days following.  Images of sultry embraces, lips locked, passionate looks, cries of abandon, flit through your consciousness as you go about your day.  A concentration of desire wells in your pelvis, your libido recently re-ignited for you and your partner.

Now what?

Do you call?  Arrange another date?  Do you wait for him to call or perhaps her?

Do you check in with your significant other?  See how the two of you are doing?

Or do you ride it out, until the adventure is but a memory and the immediacy of life, squashes your flame?

Non-monogamy comes in many flavors and varieties.  It can work for you and your significant other as long as you both are open to it.  It isn’t easy.  It takes trust, openness, and willingness to try something new – together.  Explore your fantasies and feelings.  Experts do it all the time – they rehearse mentally.  You can take this approach with non-monogamy.  Envision your partner in a situation and explore your feelings around that experience.  Don’t push beyond what you find comfortable in your mind’s eye. 

Take it slow, agree to ground rules and constantly revisit the rules.  Talk about your experiences.  Reliving the fantasy isn’t only hot, it gives you a chance to check in.  Don’t be afraid to talk about how you felt, what you liked, what made you uncomfortable.  Life’s an adventure – don’t be afraid to push boundaries and dream to be desirebound…..

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